Death Is Never Convenient.
I lost my mama in 2018. She was my best friend. I was left in charge of her will, distributing all of her assets, and making sure everything was done according to her wishes. Being an only child you’d think that would make the whole process easier.
Well let me tell you, it didn’t.
True, there were no arguments about who gets to keep the vintage radiograph collection. Or who gets (and doesn’t get) to stay in the house. And I planned her funeral all by myself, so I didn’t have to cater to anyone else’s opinions, suggestions, or criticism. I’m not here to make light of this. To the contrary. If you’ve ever lost someone so close to you, you understand how painful it is. The word sad doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. Life takes on new meaning. You may even start to question why you’re here on Earth…When a dear one passes and leaves you with the responsibility of managing all the affairs, it can be a harrowing experience.
Heartbroken, pissed, and frantic all at the same time, where do you even begin?
I’ve been there. I get it. I didn’t want to plan a funeral, divvy up the estate, or talk to lawyers or accountants or financial advisors or the government about my mom. In fact, I didn’t really want to talk to anyone anymore. All I wanted was to sit in my room and cry, shut out the rest of the world, and maybe if I thought about her hard enough, maybe just maybe, I could wish my mama back to life.
But wait, there’s more.
Now you’re grieving and just found out on top of handling all of the business affairs, you also inherited a house. Well hold on a sec—that’s not bad news. That’s exciting, right? Maybe. If it’s a designer-inspired, recently updated or very well maintained, envy-of-all-the-neighbors house in a chic area of town. The type of house I dreamed of moving into myself one day. Or the type of house where you pick up the phone, call an expert Realtor, list it on the MLS, have 1 open house, receive 15 offers, and get 50k over asking price.
Nope, not that type of house.
Instead it’s a hundred-year-old brick bungalow, on some what-cha-ma-call-it street in Chicago that hasn’t seen a new appliance since the 1960’s. It’s got good bones. And it was a wonderful house for mom, and her mom, and her grand-mom, while they were alive. But it’s old. Messy. And in disrepair. And you have no desire whatsoever to clean it, fix it, or worse, move into it. But you’ve got no clue what to do. Where to begin. What steps to take. Who, what, when, where, why, how. Oy vay, this house is already starting to give me a headache…
Death is never convenient.
They say no matter how prepared you think you are to lose someone you love, you’re never prepared enough. Ain’t that the TRUTH. The last thing you need amidst all of the grieving and sadness is to deal with selling a house. An old house in disrepair, and nowhere near where you live, no less. You have a life. A family of your own. A routine. Commitments and responsibilities. I feel you. When my mom passed away, I was a TV producer working 40 hours a week, at all times of the day and night, teaching yoga classes on the side. I played volleyball 4-5 days a week, volunteered for an animal sanctuary and local cancer non-profit regularly, and traveled whenever possible.
UGH.
Do I clean up the house and rent it out? Or renovate it, put it on the market with an agent, and try to get top dollar? That means I’d have to hire a contractor ($$), manage the renovations (or pay someone else to), and maybe even an architect to redesign some of the spaces to make it more appealing to today’s buyer (more $$). Plus I’d have to pay 5-6% in agent fees when it sells (more $$$). Then there are the bills (more $$$). Summer isn’t so bad. But paying gas bills on an older Chicago house in Winter isn’t my idea of money well spent. What about the mortgage? Of course the bank needs to get paid back. I’ll have to find out how much we owe (more $$$).
Wow, I never realized how confusing and expensive it can be to sell a house.
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